Browsing Category

Self Development

Health Meditation Self Development

How health affects the quality of our lives!

The following is an article I wrote back in 2013. Enjoy!

How health affects our quality of life

What is health? Why is the western world in such bad mental and physical health? and How is health of central importance to our lives?  The mechanisms which control us may be grounded in biology, but our experience of reality is plastic and is shaped by our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.  Can humans bring awareness to their internal mechanisms and take conscious ownership and responsibility of their lives and apply ‘self navigation’ to make more constructive decisions and and take more constructive actions?

Physical and Mental Health

Health is usually defined as the condition of the mind and body.  Excluding any external forces, the health of any individual will be the result of any decisions and actions taken by the individual. I interpret this as the ability of an individual to generatively be aware of and make consistent constructive decisions/actions with respect to activities that will affect the health of the individual (self navigating ability with their decisions/actions regarding diet and exercise). E.g. a person will see that their body craves pizza and chips, but they see that the internal mechanism which is causing that desire is not constructive in the current context, and therefore the enlightened individual can choose to eat something more constructive for their physical health.

Mental health could be defined in a similar fashion – the ability of an individual to generatively be aware of and make consistent constructive decisions/actions with respect to activities that will affect the mental health of the individual (self navigating ability with their decisions/actions regarding beliefs).  Eg. A person will see that their body craves anxious and depressed thoughts, but they see that the internal mechanism which is causing that desire is not constructive in the current context, and can believe something which is more constructive for their mental health.

A detailed discussion on these physical and mental mechanisms is for another place/time.  The physical mechanisms were perhaps useful and necessary and there to serve us at some point in our evolution.  E.g. a possible explanation is that the humans who craved high density foods, survived better in the environment we evolved from, and as a result we still crave high density food which in western society today, is in abundance.  Therefore this physical mechanism which has served us at some point in the past is now outdated, and if left unchecked, will cause a host of physical diseases in our bodies. The reason for the disease according to contemporary biology, is due to the lack of adaptive ability – the fact that our bodies change very slowly, or that genetic mutation is rare, and the fact that our environment has changed so quickly in such a short time. i.e. from 100% organic natural food and physical labour to crispy crème and desk jobs.

The mental mechanisms were perhaps useful and necessary and there to serve us at some point in our evolution.  E.g. a possible explanation is that the humans that were more anxious avoided dangerous situations and survived better in the environment we evolved from, and as a result we still become anxious in social situations which in western society today, is in abundance.  Therefore this mental mechanism which has served us at some point in the past is now outdated, and if left unchecked, will cause a host of mental diseases in our bodies.  The reason for the disease according to contemporary psychology is……the fact that our environment has changed so quickly in such a short time. i.e. from living in small groups of 150 people or less, to living in cities with millions of people in intricate webs of social networks.

In any life venture we are always carrying ‘ourselves‘on the journey.  The only thing that we can’t escape from, and which affects all perceptions, interactions and experiences is us!!  This begs the metaphysical question – what is ‘ourself’?, yet for the purposes of this discussion, which is not intended to be a discussion in metaphysics, I will refer to ‘ourselves’ as simply a bundle of physical and mental ‘stuff’ which interacts and seems to ‘go along with’ what we refer to as ourselves.

If we are carrying the previously mentioned ‘bundle’ with us wherever we go, with our own underlying assumptions, beliefs, preconceived ideas, etc. then what we perceive of any situation is to a large extent what we are bringing to the situation (out flow = inflow). Our experiences are filtered through our personal bundle, and therefore, we see not necessarily what we want to see, but what we are conditioned to seeing, and what we are conditioned to believe.  Our belief of what is possible, and what is probable, creates the world we experience.  We are responsible for our own reality.  Whether we take responsibility, or whether we play the victim in any situation, we are the creators of our own worlds.

If the previous is true, and we have the power to create our own reality, then what is preventing us from having a pleasant or interesting, or any reality we so choose?  The first requirement is that we understand that we shape our own reality, and see how our belief systems are shaping our perceptions.  Awareness is the first step towards competency with self navigating ability (or learning anything for that matter).

–  A model I find quite helpful is the 4 quadrants of competency, starting with unconscious incompetence, where one has no clue that they are incompetent (this is the state of the average person in our society, with respect to self navigating ability).  The second phase is conscious incompetence.  This is the phase where although the individual is incompetent with the task, there is an awareness and understanding of their own lack of competence.  The next stage is conscious competence, where the individual succeeds in competency, followed by unconscious competence, where the individual is so practiced at completing the task competently that the competency becomes automatic (like driving a car for most people).

So to continue our example, the stage of conscious competence would be where one recognizes where a person is consciously shifting their belief system to produce a more desirable outcome.  And the unconscious competence is where the competency has been practiced so much that the person is automatically ‘catching’ and correcting themselves, whenever a limiting belief arises within them.

Using the aforementioned definitions of health, gaining health could be considered as gaining insight into our physical and mental mechanisms and being able to reprogram ourselves through practice, to take more ownership and control of our lives thereby improving the quality of our lives.

Meditation Self Development

Mindfulness

“Know Thyself”

 – Ancient Greek aphorism –

Socrates and many other philosophers in Ancient Greece stressed the importance of knowing the self.  It was thought ridiculous to do study anything obscure without first understanding how you operate.  Without understanding how your own body and mind functions, how can you get the most out of yourself and your life?  If you don’t know yourself, you will be reacting robotically to any events that occur and victim of your own biases.

Have you ever:

  • Been convinced that you are right, only to find out later that you were wrong?
  • Witnessed someone interpret the same situation completely differently from you?
  • Changed your beliefs over time?

We all have our own upbringing, education, experiences, social groups, etc., which contribute to our values and belief systems. We all have a unique world view or ‘frame’ with which we see the world and process information from the environment.  Our ‘frames’ are like filters which takes the raw data from the world and interpret it to make meaning.

As we grow up, we develop our frames, but we also develop patterns of thinking and emotion.  These patterns of emotion are what psychoanalysts might call a ‘complex’. They are learned mental and emotional habits which are largely unconscious.  These complexes will take raw information and connect it to other thoughts and emotions, but in a misleading or distorted way.

Have you ever:

  • Found yourself angry or emotional and you can’t even remember why any more?
  • Had one thought ‘set you off’ and completely shift your mood
  • Had thoughts that trigger an emotional state?

Emotional states are perhaps the most neglected and unconscious part of human experience.   Our emotional states are affected by everything that happens to us and are in a constant state of flux.  One way to think about our emotions is to see them as the body’s warning signs, which tell us whether something is a good or bad idea, whether to be cautious, where our boundaries are etc. Often we have triggers which could come in the form of words or actions which ‘set us off’ on a particular emotional or mental path. If we are unaware of our own complexes and triggers, then they can take us on an emotional roller coaster ride to somewhere we may not want to go.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate

– Carl Jung –

Learning to understand yourself is never a completed task, as there is infinite complexity to every person.  However, as you develop the skill of mindfulness, you can  bring more awareness into your life and gain more and more control over your reactions to life events.   This is not about punishing yourself for having feelings, or striving to have no emotions. It is about preventing yourself from being governed by misguided patterns of thinking and feeling.

Through mindfulness we can be less attached to our frames and complexes, understand ourselves better and ultimately make better decisions and life choices.

Self Development

Self-Confidence

Do you ever see a confident person and think ‘how are they like that?’? How did they become so effortlessly bold? Everybody is familiar with the term self-confidence, yet few people know what generates it and how to get more of it in their lives.  Pseudo self-confidence in the form of boastfulness or putting others down is common, but true grounded self-confidence is much rarer. This type of self-confidence is not only very attractive, but also makes life easier and more rewarding.

 

Stop caring about what others think

Slander / Gossip

In this judgmental culture, it is easy to be overly critical of others or get sucked into caring about what other people think of us.

People who put others down are often motivated by a feeling of inferiority, so they will use slander to try to bring others down, to level the playing field.

They may also use gossip to try to boost themselves up, though a feeling temporary superiority from being privy to knowledge that others aren’t.

Whatever the motivation, it is their problem not yours, so don’t waste any energy on it. If you are motivated by your own opinion of yourself  and can stay focused on your own actions, then others’ negativity shouldn’t affect your self-confidence.

Bragging / Compliments

Receiving temporary ego flattery from compliments can be just as damaging as receiving slander, because it is also a distraction which takes energy and attention away from yourself and your actions.

Taking a gym selfie and getting Facebook likes might give you temporary pleasure, but doesn’t have any lasting effect on your self-confidence.

Regardless of the validation or praise from others, deep down, you know if you have been working hard and making gains, or whether it was just the lighting, a certain angle, or your recent spray tan that made the selfie look good.

 

Get practice at being courageous – pushing past your comfort zone.

As a whole, self-confident people aren’t more lucky or privileged than anyone else, they are just in a good habit of putting themselves in challenging situations, and have done it so much that they are confident that they can handle whatever situation arises.

Self-confidence is gained by doing small courageous acts, one at a time, and building up gradually.

These courageous acts include anything that challenge you in any way, and put you outside of your comfort zone, whether it be physical, mental, or social.  Regardless of the outcome, taking that courageous action teaches us that we can do things that make us uncomfortable or scared, and still survive.  The more you can develop this ability to take these small acts of courage, the more you will learn and grow, and the more self-confidence you will foster. The outcomes in the short term are irrelevant, it is developing the skill and the habit of taking courageous actions that will dictate long term outcomes.

 

It’s the tough reps that you do when nobody is looking …

It’s the extra effort that you put in after a setback…

It’s having that necessary but awkward conversation…

It is the personal challenges that you commit to and overcome…

It’s how you handle yourself in those quiet moments when there is nobody else to judge you…

These are the moments when you can build self-confidence.

Be your own hero and live to your own highest values!